Wednesday, May 26, 2010

It only hurts for a little while

That's what they tell me, that's what they say..Not sure what song that comes from but it lies. It hurts ALL the time. The trick is to keep busy so you forget you are sad. Works some of the time. But the anger, hurt and sadness is always there. Probably always will be. It has gotten harder, not easier. I think that is because we are not in shock anymore, we KNOW that he is gone and not coming back. I can actually be smiling and laughing and in a blink of an eye, I am crying. I want my son back more than I want to breathe sometimes. Please don't be getting all concerned. I don't want to die, nor does Dan. Just feels like it sometimes. I want to enjoy the new car, the warm weather, the summer fun. But I am not sure I can do that yet. But Dan and I will keep on trying. Our bodies hurt. Now that we are not being a caregiver, all our aches and pains that we have worked through over the years are coming to our attention. We are tired and sore. So time is really all that is going to work to fix some of this. Just wanted to stop in and let you know we are as ok as we can be. Graduation was really rough emotionally.
Stephen has moved in and it is nice to have someone to care for. But he is a busy young man with a girlfriend and don't expect to see him as much as I would like. So we will go day at a time and with the help of our friends and family and Elliott, we will get better with time. Thanks for stopping in. It is nice to be writing again...

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